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Severe Pure O OCD related problems My obsessions have rendered my life absolutely useless for i just cannot severe any ties with these meaningless thoughts. I'd just brief you with the root cause of the obsessions. When i was in school i had fallen for a girl with whom i'm happily married now. But during that time it so happened that another girl fell for me and due to some of my friend's insistence i like an imbecile fellow broke up with my girlfriend and proposed to that girl and started courting her. But within a week i realized that i didn't actually have any feelings for this girl and wanted to return to my previous girlfriend and that i did. Currently i'm happily settled with her and madly in love with her.It's been 2 years of our beautiful marriage. But just about 3 weeks back suddenly out of the blue these thoughts started surfacing that i ditched a girl...i'm well settled and happy but what about the girl whom i left. i try assuring my mind that it is futile to stay with someone for whom you don't have any feelings at all but somehow these assurances don't work at all for they exacerbate the already bad condition. Whenever i come across any articles relating to love i avoid them. I have this fear that this guilt feeling will culminate in something horrible like me leaving my wife and again going back to that girl. I've told each and everything related to such obsessions to my wife and she has stood by me like a rock. I know my fears are futile but they just don't leave me. When these obsessions are at their peak then my mind is suddenly swayed by an overwhelming melancholy, sadness and guilt.Also these thoughts always come that since i ditched someone god will punish me throughout life. It is then that i try to explain to myself in the mind that if god really wanted to punish me then he wouldn't have ever given me back my true love. But still the mind doesn't find these assurances to be cogent. Please help.
Created by Arnav D |