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2010-01-31 19:59:32  
OCD?
Hi. I'm pretty sure I have OCD but I kinda want to confirm (is this just my OCD overanalyzing?).

I feel the need to blink alot and it usually follows a pattern (eg; like I'l blink/wink with one eye and then both). Or I check the backs of my shoes alot when I'm walking. Or sometimes I catch my self staring at my nails and when I catch myself doing that I know I should look away, but then it makes me want to keep staring (its kind of lika fixation or something).

I also obsess and overanalyze everything. I have so many self-help books on my shelf. In fact if I wasn't reading these books trying to figure out my self on my weekends, I don't always know what I'd be doing. When I was a teenager and young adult, I had bulimia (always overeating and overexercise, but I never threw up). I guess that was my point of focus. Then at about 25years old, I sort of let that go, for the most part. And I guess this self-obsessiong and over analyzing popped up.

I'm looking for some help? Yet I already feel helpless because I feel like I've been trying to change for half my life. People who know me would say I'm intelligent, beautiful, caring, and a good friend. I guess I believe this on a mental level, but I just don't feel it and thus if I don't feel it, I think that its not true. I also question alot of things right now. So its hard to make bigger decisions that may make me happier in the long run, because I feel like I don't know myself.

Sorry for the long essay. Just wanted to try to convey myself best as possible.

Ciao!
AMY

Created by Amy

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